Escaping the Truth
by wheresmyorangehoodie
Summary: One day, Kenny McCormick fell in love. Three years later, one identity crisis, and a few hundred deaths later, he's finally gonna do something about it. Bunny!
1. Prologue What do you mean you're not gay

**A/N: This is my first fanfiction ever! whar har! *does a happy dance* So you should read this and tell me what you think. Pretty pretty please! *puppy dog eyes***

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters Slash**

**Prologue: **

"**What do you mean you're not gay?"**

**Kenny's POV**

So, basically live sucks. Everyone knows it. Whether it's the fact that your significant other broke up with you or if it's the fact that your pet died, anything really that makes live worse then it already is. My problem is Eric Cartman. Oh, and let us not forget the fact that I constantly die, and that I live in this fucking eternal winter land called South Park, Colorado.

I could change all of those things. I could make my life so much better by moving away or going and living with another family member, if, and there is always an if, if it weren't for this cute, adorable, I love him so much boy named Leopold Scotch, also know as Butters. Ah, Butters.

However, I seem to have gotten off track, Eric Cartman, as I already said, is the cause of all of my problems in life. I'm not sure how, but he is. Everything bad or even just slightly evil can be directly or indirectly related back to one Mr. Eric Cartman. He is a scheming, manipulative, psychopathic, fatass bastard, wanna be Nazi.

He's the reason Butters (ah, Butters) got sent to military camp between the summer of our 7th and 8th grade year. He's the reason Butter's refuses to talk to me anymore, hell, we rarely talked before now it's like I don't even exist. He's the reason that Butter's got all this self-confidence, and now wants everyone to call him Leo. He's the reason that Butter's can now stand up to his parents and is currently living in the back of Tweak's Coffee, while working there after school as his rent.

Now, I'm really, _really,_ happy that Butters stood up to his parents, and that he's living on his own, and has a job, and even the fact that he's more self-confident, he doesn't even stutter anymore. What I'm not happy about is that after Butters, or rather _Leo, _got back from military camp he started denying that he was gay. Which I know is true.

Well, I hope it's true. Even if he isn't I'm sure that I can convince him to let me love him, and that he will eventually grow to love me back. Maybe.

Ok, if that wasn't helpful enough I'm even going to show you a flashback about how it all went down. Queue flashback.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We all sat fidgeting at our desks waiting for the bell to ring. Having homeroom before lunch really sucked, but when I had found out that I had the same homeroom with Butters I discovered that it didn't really suck all that much.  
_Tick, tock, tick, tock; _I think that stupid slow ass clock is mocking me. Maybe it knows that today is the last day of school so it wants to get in some extra torturing on our young feeble minds before school was finally dismissed for summer. Or maybe it just knew that today was my day to finally confess to Butters that I love him.

That I love the way he sighs in relieve because he gets that A he needs. And the way his blond hair turns to gold when the light hits it just right. Then there is the way his blue eyes light up whenever he looks at his Hello Kitty bag. His shyness and his stutter are just down right adorable. They make me want to protect him from everything. Yes, today was finally the day that I would tell Butters all of this.

Oh, you're probably wondering why I haven't done this before. I have tried, so many times have I tried, but something seems to be always getting in my way. Someone else is there talking to Butters, I get dragged away by Stan, Kyle, Cartman, or all three of them, or there's even been a few times that I've died before I could tell him. All of these things have stopped me before but not today, I am determined to do it and I will, God damn it all.

The bell ringing is joyous music to all of our ears as everyone rushes out the door and down the hall to the cafeteria. All that is except for Butters and I. Butters had stayed behind because Ms. Jay had stopped to talk to him about his last paper and me because, well you already know.

Walking slowly as possible to the doorway I'm hoping that they finish talking before I can get there. I get to the door and still no luck in Ms. Jay shutting up. Sighing impatiently I lean against the lockers next to the door, waiting. My head rolls back and hits the lockers and I shut my eyes, breathing deeply. _There's nothing to be nervous about. Wait, why the hell am I nervous? All I'm doing is confessing to Butters. Ah, Butters._

"Dude, Kenny, what are you doing?"

Looking up, I feel my impatient level rise, and seeing Kyle Broflowski and Stan Marsh holding hands both looking at me with identical confused expressions, did nothing to help that rising level either. They had known each other since forever and had been best friends too. Everyone saw it coming and what do you know? Both Stan and Kyle had come out at the same time about half way through the year and have been dating steadily since. Seeing the two love birds, having there fucking cake, and eating the God damn thing to, made me want to punch both of them in the knee cap.

A sigh escaped me as I thought about how lucky some bastards were compared to me. But that was all about to change as soon as I got this confession out of the way.

"Hello, earth to Kenny. Anyone home?" They had moved closer to me and now Stan was waving a hand in front of my parka covered face.

Slapping his gloved hand away from my face, I straightened and came to the realization that I was taller then him. _What the hell?_ Even if it was by only an inch I was still fucking taller than him. _Weird_.

"Yes, someone's home and right now they are very annoyed at being disturbed. Leave me alone." Looking over my shoulder I saw that Butters and Ms. Jay were still talking. _Geez, talk about having a big mouth._

"Why? It's lunch time and generally by now you're already at the table eating half of everyone's plates." Kyle said a slight grin on his face.

Glaring at him I told him, "Well excuse me for being poor and hungry."

Placing his arm around Stan, Kyle looked at me concern glowing in his eyes. "Exactly, so why aren't you eating? Let's go." Reaching out he grabbed my hand and began pulling me down the hall with him.

As we rounded the corner I saw Butters come out of the class room and look around confused before shrugging and moving to follow us. _Fuck. Is there a reason I keep missing my chances to talk to Butters alone?_

The cafeteria was full of talk and the smell of bad food. Looking at Cartman's huge pile of unrecognizable foods, and Stan and Kyle making mushy faces at each other, I felt the need to throw up.

Cartman must have noticed me staring at his food because he quickly, and I must say that he did move rather quick for being so fat, quickly put his arm between his food and I, giving me the death glare. "Don't even think about it ghetto boy. This is the last day I'll get to eat this food until next year and I refuse to let to spoil it." Stuffing a green, clear thing in his mouth that may or may not have been Jell-O, Cartman continued to watch me.

"Whatever, fatass." Glancing towards the cafeteria windows, I saw Butters leaving to go to the library. _Yes, here was my chance._ Standing up I said, "I'll see you guys in class," before running off not waiting for a reply.

Exiting the cafeteria, I headed down the hall after Butters. As I came to the corner I began to hear voices.

"Hey there ol' chap. You got any plans for the summer? I'm thinking of take a trip to England; I've managed to save up just enough to go." Peeking around, I saw Pip Pirrup taking to Butters. _Why did Butters one friend have to decide now to talk to him? Ok that's it I'm going to just go and ask him to talk in private. Right now._

Walking up to the two boys I feel this premonition of doom that I usually get about two minutes before I die. Maybe it will be wrong this time. Pulling my parka hood down, I smile and as I'm about to say hello to the two of them, I get hit in the face with a door. The door's glass window shatters and a rather large chuck goes straight in between my eyes killing me. _Damn it all, I was so close._

Well, needless to say I didn't get to confess my feelings. In fact when I came back to earth, I couldn't find Butters any where I looked. I even asked his parents, but they didn't say anything just slammed the door in my face. I spent the whole fucking summer searching for him, and I didn't die, not once. Not fucking once. But I still couldn't find him.

By the time our 8th grade year began, I was severely depressed and wanting to see my Butters. Ah, Butters. Stan and Kyle were really worried, hell, I think even Cartman was starting to get a little worried.

As I sat in my first period class room waiting for the bell to ring and dreading a day without my Butters; I heard exciting chatter outside the door and then I saw Butters come in. He looked really….hot. Not adorable or cute as he was last year but really freakin' _hot._ He stood straight and proud not hunched over as he used to be. His hair looked different too, like he had cute it and had let it grow out. There was an air of self-confidence about him that wasn't there before. He was lean and wiry now, like he had been lifting weights or working out.

I felt my mouth drop and I couldn't help myself, I started to drool. Butters took a seat at the front of the class and I saw a bunch of the girls go over and begin talking to him. _Who do they think they are talking to my Butters?_ Standing up to go and get them away from my man, I heard the bell ring and cursed under my breath at the bad timing.

First period dragged on and on and when we were finally released I went on the hunt for Butters. Yet again I couldn't find him. The rest of my day was spent searching for him, but even when I did manage to find him he always seemed to be surrounded by girls or a group of guys. This pissed me off to no end and every time I saw someone eyeing Butters I wanted to punch their lights out.

Needless to say by the time last period came I was severely pissed off and I chewed off everyone's head who so much as said two words to me. When I walked into class I almost walked right back out and was going to just skip it if I hadn't seen Butters sitting in the front row. Since it was Biology we had black topped tables as desks that sat two to a table and Butters currently was sitting alone.

Racing into the class I slid into the seat next to him and pulled down my orange parka hood saying, "Hi, Butters!" with a big grin plastered on my face.

He turned to me with a slight frown saying, "Leo."

My brows furrowed and I asked, "What?"

He sighed before explaining. "I want to go by Leo now, since the reason everyone called me Butters in the first place was because I was so shy and stuff."

"Oh, so where were you this summer? I looked all over for you. There's something I need to tell you." Leaning my elbow against the hard surface I propped my head up, waiting.

Confusion colored his eyes as I said this. "What do you need to tell me?"

Giving a slight shake of my head I told him, "No, first tell me where you went then I'll say what I need to tell you."

"I was sent to military camp so that I wouldn't be so much of a wimp. It really helped but my parents were really surprised at how much it did. When I got back about a week ago I kicked their asses for all the shit they put me through and moved out. I'm living in the back of Tweak's Coffee and helping there after school. It's kinda cool living on my own. So what is it that you need to tell me?"

I felt my jaw drop for the second time today. "You kicked your parents' asses and you're not even sixteen yet and you're already living on your own? Dude, talk about having all the luck." I sighed in jealousy.

"So what is it?"

Looking at him I saw that he had tilted his head to the side when he asked me. _Aw, so cute. He really is still adorable. _"What's what?"

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Oh, right." _Yes, finally I can tell him._ "I love you."

Shocked, Leo's eyes opened wide as he stared at me in silence, before asking, "Excuse me?"

"I love you. I have since about the sixth grade. In fact I was going to tell you last year but I couldn't ever seem to. Then you disappeared for the summer."

"Ummm, Kenny?" he seemed to be uncomfortable now and wasn't quite sure what to say.

Standing up I looked down at him square in the eye. "But-, I mean Leo, will you go out with me?"

"No, I'm not gay." Leo stood up too, and I saw that even though a lot of things had changed, I was still taller than him. _Thank God for small favors._ Not waiting for me to say anything to him, Leo walked to the back of the room and sat with Cartman.

Sitting down it took me a minute to realize what he had said. _What did he mean he wasn't gay? That can't be right._ I stood up about to go and ask him what in the hell he was talking about, when the bell rang, signaling that class was beginning and cursed my luck.

I sat through the next forty minutes of class in anxious anticipation because I needed to talk to Butt- err I mean Leo. When the teacher said that we could talk for the last five minutes of class I jumped up and raced to the back of the class straight to Leo.

Slapping my hands on the cool desk top I demanded, "What do you mean you're not gay?"

Frustration glowed in his eyes as he answered me. "Exactly what I said; I'm not and I'm not going to go out with you. I am not gay." He stood up to leave me and I grabbed onto his sleeve. He stared down at it in silent reproach.

Not taking the hint I kept my hold. "That's wrong."

Switching his gaze from my hand to my face he asked with ice dripping from his voice. "Are you calling me a liar?"

I was about to blow a fuse. I've spent the last two years wanting this boy. Every time I ever seemed to get close to him something would stop me and I'd never got to tell him, until today. But then he has to go and deny the truth, so needless to say I was pissed and did something stupid; I said yes.

Last thing I saw a fist flying towards my face before I woke up in the infirmary with a pounding headache. Groaning at the fading sun light on my eyes I rolled over and came face to face with a woman's legs spread wide. Jerking up, I regretted it as it made my head pound even harder.

"Hey, there cutie take it easy, you had quite a fall." The woman placed her hands on my shoulders and gently laid me back down on the bed. Looking up I saw that she was the nurse, even if she was wearing a skirt that was too short and a sweater that was stretched taunt over her huge chest. She gave me a sly smile asking, "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible."

"Well, that's to be expected after you slipped and hit your head on the desk."

"What? Oh, right, desks." Not wanting to get But- God damn it _Leo_ in trouble, even if he was the reason I was here, I played along. Closing my eyes, I felt tears prick the back of them as I thought about what he had said, and felt my depression from earlier in the day come back.

"Honey, are you ok?"

Shaking my head no I kept my eyes closed trying to get myself under control. Her hand suddenly touched my crotch and I jerked back, eyes open wide, looking at her with shock.

She gave a slight giggle at my reaction but didn't move her hand. "Oh, ho, ho, I take it you've never been touched here? Don't worry, I'll be gentle." She leaned in close to my face placing a kiss on my lips. _What the fuck?! She's the God damn nurse! Why the hell is she trying to get in my pants?!_

Backing away from her touch I stuttered out, "W-w-what do you think you're doing?! I'm a student you know?!"

Placing a finger over my mouth she shushed me saying with a cheeky grin, "I won't tell if you don't."

Removing her white lab coat she got onto the tiny cot with me and began slowly exploring my body. _Why the hell not? My only love is in denial and from the way it looks he won't be coming back anytime soon. Why not just share this love I feel with everyone else?_

My decision made, I maneuvered myself and the nurse around so that I was on top and so began my whoring ways. End flashback.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

See what I mean? Everything is fucked up. Somehow or another Eric Cartman not only caused Butters to become Leo, he also made me a whore. It's bad enough that I'm fucking poor, but now I'm a God damn whore! Shit, some people have no idea how good there shitty life is, especially compared to mine.

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**A/N: Well? Well? What did you think? Good? Ok-ish? Bad? So horrible that you can't even believe i had the nerve to post this? Tell me!!!!!  
**


	2. Ch1 What the hell are you doing Kenny

**A/N: Yes I know that this is really short especially compared to the Prologue. But when i tried to add more....well it didn't work. Neh whatever it is as it is. **

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean _Leo_ Slash**

**Chapter 1:**

"**What the hell are you doing Kenny?!"**

**Kenny's POV**

"Why the hell is their even a St. Valentine's Day?" Glaring at Stan and Kyle, I leaned against my locker. Seeing that Kyle was about to take my question seriously, I raised a hand to stop him. "Dude, it was a rhetorical question." Sighing, I looked around the hall at all the couples. Everyone seemed to have paired up; Stan and Kyle were still together, Damien and Pip were dating, if you can call Damien stealing Pip away at random moments dating, Craig and Tweek had gotten together about six months ago and the list just seemed to get bigger and bigger. _Does everyone have a problem with being single?_

A hand touched my shoulder and I looked over it to Stan. "Kenny, it's been over three years since," he paused here as if afraid to say it. I raised an eyebrow and waited. "….well, since 'the incident' and it's time you either fixed it or moved on. I know you've attempted to by 'sharing your love' with everyone but we can tell," removing his hand from my shoulder, he placed it in Kyle's, "that you haven't gotten over anything."

Not wanting him to see that he had hit the nail on the head, I pulled my hood up and looked away. Seeing all the happy, mushy, I love you so much faces around the hall I felt my heart ache. Ever since Leo had gone into denial I had slept with just about everyone in town, but it didn't do anything to make my love disappear. In fact, I think it made me realize just how much I do love him. _God, I'm starting to sound like some hormonal teenaged girl_.

A hand entered my line of vision, snapping frantically. "Dude, hello, can you not space out for like five minutes and pay attention?" Fixing a glare on Kyle I waited for whatever it was he was about to tell me. "You, Kenny McCormick, are a fucking pussy." I drew my hand back to punch him, but Stan stopped with a look saying 'wait'. Dropping my arm, I again waited. "So, you were dumped, in fact you weren't just dumped you were punched. You've moped around, or rather slept around, for the past three years, and that is just too fucking long. Now you either need to move on and find someone else to love, or grow some fucking balls and chase after Leo." With that said he pulled Stan behind him and marched off down the hall.

Reaching up to run my hand trough my hair, I knocked my hood back, so that it now rested against my back. _He was right. I'm going to show that Leo that he really is gay. It's time to come to terms with the truth._ The bell rang sending all the kids rushing towards class. Not really caring if I missed next period or not I wondered the halls aimlessly during class thinking of ways to show Leo the truth.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Last bell rang and the school doors burst open, kids spilling out in all directions. Walking out into the cold hell of South Park, I pulled my orange parka hood close around my face, covering most of it. Searching the grounds, I finally spotted Leo walking home, his blond hair turning gold in the afternoon sun. _You would think that with as much sunlight as we get here we wouldn't have any snow. Whatever, nature's a bitch anyway._

As I pushed my way to the sidewalk and through all the kids waiting to rid the bus, I lost sight of Leo. Getting free, I glimpsed his light blue jacket going around the corner, and I started running towards him. Getting to the corner, I looked down the street and stared at his back, frozen. A thousand lines ran through my head, but none of them seemed good enough. _What the hell am I suppose to say?_

He was getting farther and farther down the street, so I did the only thing that seemed to make sense; I chased after him. As I got closer, I didn't slow down. My hood had fallen down, stupid thing never wanted to stay up anymore, and I felt a smile break my face as I came within jumping distance of his back. Not really thinking I jumped on his back screaming, "Leo!"

Before I realized what had happened, I was laying on the cold sidewalk with him staring down at me. His hands had me held down as if I was some kind of attacker, and he was glaring at me rather fiercely. "What the hell are you doing Kenny?!"

Grinning up into his sky blue eyes, I replied, "Well, at the moment, you seem to be holding me down. Leo, I never knew you were the dominating type, but that's just fine with me."

Grimacing at my comment, he pushed himself up off of the ground and left me to my own devices as he continued walking down the street. Collecting myself, I ran after him playfully whining, "What? Is it over already? But we just got started!" Ignoring me he just kept on walking down the street, so I fell in pace beside him and kept quite.

I didn't say a word just kept walking. Every now and then I'd feel his gaze on me and I'd pretend not to notice. He must have gotten impatient with wanting to know why in the hell I was following him because he suddenly stopped and glared up at me since I stand over him by at least three inches, since I'm about five foot eleven. Cocking an eyebrow, I waited for him to say something, and he cocked his right back at me obviously wanting an explanation. Not giving in I crossed my arms and just stared down at him.

Throwing his arms in the air he finally demanded to know, "Why the fuck are you following me?"

Not missing a beat I said, "Because I love you."

His eyebrows disappeared beneath his bangs at this, before coming down to wrinkle in confusion. "Didn't you tell me that before?"

Nodding I felt something pull at my heart as I remembered that day. "I even asked you out but you denied being gay, which I know is true, so you punched me. Damn, but that punch hurt." Reaching up I rubbed my nose, flinching.

Anger burned in his eyes as Leo said, "I'm not gay."

"Yes you are and I'm going to prove it."

"This is pointless, good-bye." He turned then and would have walked away if I hadn't grabbed his arm and pulled him back so that he was now pressed fully against me.

I flashed a smile as I saw the surprise in his eyes turn to outrage. "Hey, there kitty, calm down, I'm not doing anything….yet"

Struggling against my hold, I turned us so that he now had his back pressed to a chain link fence. "Let go of me, you damn pervert!"

"No," I said, "not until you hear me out."

Sighing he stopped his struggling. "Fine, just let me go."

Nodding, I let him go and took a step back. Fast as can be he slammed his fist into my stomach, dropping me to my knees. _God damn he could throw a punch._ Backing away from my huddled form on the ground I heard him shout, "I'm not gay, so leave me the fuck alone pervert!"

_Shit, this is going to be harder than I thought._ That was my last thought before I began barfing on the sidewalk.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: Again sorry it's short. Next chapter is longer. Promise! So....Your thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns?**


	3. Ch2 Is there a method to your madness

**A/N: Ok so here's the second chapter. Wah hah!! If there are any errors I'm sorry, that's not my fault, I swear! Enjoy.**

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean **_**Leo**_** Slash**

**Chapter 2:**

"**Is there a method to your madness?"**

"Kenny? Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

Not bothering to look at Stan, or to answer his question, I continued peeping through the cafeteria windows at Leo who stood out in the hall talking to Pip.

"Dude, why-hey, what-" Jerking him down to squat next to me, I motioned him to shush and looked back out the window. I felt his eyes burn me with their questions as he made himself comfortable on the cold tile floor. Ignoring his probing gaze as best I could, I watched Leo laugh and smile having a 'jolly good' time with Pip. Jealousy burned in my chest, and began to slowly spread through me. _Why? God damn it all? _Why?!_ Was there some law that said he couldn't be that way with me? Oh, sure, he can act all normal with Pip, but I come around and he gets-oh, no he did not!_

Screaming out in silent fury I watched Pip putting his arm around Leo and getting all buddy, buddy with him. Grinding my teeth, I jumped up from my squatting position beneath the window. My fingernails were biting into my skins, nearly breaking it.

Not noticing anything, I marched out the cafeteria doors and made my way toward Leo. I must have made someone mad because I felt them jump on my back. Not seeing who it was I pulled them off and slammed them onto the floor. Again, not noticing anything because I was so intent on getting to Leo, I suddenly saw a fist flying towards my face and making contact. That I noticed.

My back slammed into the metal lockers, causing me to hit my head, and I slid down clutching my nose. A crowd had started to gather around and were cheering on my attacker and I. Cursing profusely at my bleeding nose and my aching head, I looked up to see Kyle glaring.

Stumbling to my feet I returned his glare. "What the hell was that for douche bag?"

"You God damned bastard! Why the fuck did you throw Stan, huh?!" He was positively seething and I was in a state of confusion.

"Wah-" I cut myself off as I saw Stan slowly sitting up on the floor holding the back of his head. "Shit!" Rushing to him, I felt hands push me away. Looking at their owner I saw Kyle giving me the death glare and I backed off. He helped Stan up and steadily made his way down the hall to the nurse.

As I watched them go I wondered where the fuck all the teachers were. My head started feeling light and my nose was continuing to bleed. My aching head had now become a raging hammer attack, and I couldn't seem to focus on anything. The blurring images before my eyes were slowly going black. Crashing into the lockers I felt myself slowly slip into unconsciousness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Moaning softly I opened my eyes to see Kyle's glaring back at me. Moaning again I looked away as I remembered what I had done to Stan, only to be met by Stan himself who was gazing down at me with concern. I moaned again, before deciding to just shut my eyes.

"Kenny, shut the hell up! You sound like a fucking dying cow!"

"Shut up, Kyle, you're polluting the air by breathing," I mumbled before grabbing the cheap, scratchy, infirmary blanket and pulling it over my head.

Before I could get comfortable, said blanket was yanked away from me. "Nuh-uh, mister, you're awake so get your ass up. Now." Cracking my eyes open slightly I saw a cranky, old, nurse with crazy gray hair, and brown eyes, wearing a crooked pink tiara. Seeing that it was only crazy lady Jane I shut my eyes again, curling myself into a ball to retain body heat. I was about three seconds away from dreaming about my once-sweet Butters when the bed was pushed over and I was thrown down onto the ground.

Fumbling to right myself, I was jerked up by the arm and dragged to the door, before being given a kick to the rear and a slammed door. "Fucking ho. What the hell does she think she's doing kicking sick people out of the infirmary?" Rubbing my bruising butt, I saw that both Kyle and Stan had been kicked out and were now laughing at my expense. Flipping them off I walked down the hall swaying from side to side, attempting to get my balance. Giving up I leaned against someone's locker and slid slowly to the ground.

Relaxing now I stared up at Stan and felt guilty for what I had done. "Stan, dude, I'm sorry."

Waving away my apology he sat next to me. "No sweat. It was my fault too. Never mess with a jealous man on a mission. You'd think I'd learn after having dealt with this jealous man here." Grinning up at Kyle, Stan reached for his hand, pulling him down to sit in front off me and Stan, forming a small triangle.

Kyle was grinning now. "Yeah, don't worry dude, no sweat." His grin turned evil as he said, "But if you ever do it again, you don't even want to know what will happen."

Staring at him drolly I asked, "Does it involve me dying?"

"No."

"Torture?"

"Slightly."

"Ropes?"

"Hmmm, yes."

"Chains?"

"Maybe."

"Pain?"

"Lots."

Smiling I said, "Well that's a disappointment. It doesn't sound different from any other day of the week." Sighing dramatically, I raised my face towards the ceiling crying out in mock outrage, "Why? Why must I go every day dealing with the same old deaths, and tortures? Does no one have anything new to offer me?"

Stan laughed and Kyle reached out fake punching me in the gut. Gasping, I doubled over as he touched the bruise Leo had given me two days ago. "Owww, damn it all." Gasping for a breath I felt Stan's hands on my back.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just fine Stan. Ignore the fact that I clutching my stomach and attempting to keep my lunch down. I'm doing freakin' fantastic."

"Stupid question."

Straitening back up I looked at him blankly saying, "Der, ya think?"

"What happened? Who punched you in the stomach? I know it wasn't me because I was too busy bruising your ugly mug." Kyle reached out and was now pulling Stan to sit beside him as he asked me these questions.

"Leopold Scotch is what happened to me, damn it." Gritting my teeth, I mumbled in frustration about boys and denial.

"Leo punched you? _Again_? What'd ya do this time?" Stan asked with concern.

Avoiding eye contact, I mumbled, "Nothin'."

"Kenny." He cocked an eyebrow at my answer.

"Honest! I didn't do anything…..much." I added on lamely.

"Much? What much?" He was now staring at me with those probing eyes and I avoided them, instead staring at a 'Drink Milk!' poster across the hall.

"Nothing much. Just some jumping, screaming, Leo dominating me, slamming into chain link fences and…ya know, nothing stuff."

"Dude, what the hell did you do to him?" Kyle stared at me with a perplexed expression. Glancing over to Stan, I saw that he wore the same exact one.

"Dude, stop, both of you, that's just creepy, the way you both have the same expression."

Waggling his finger in my face with a slight shake of his head, Stan said, "Nope. You're not getting out of the question that easily. Now tell us what happened." Kyle nodded in agreement.

_Well, shit._ A sigh escaped me as I thought about my disastrous run in with Leo. Not saying anything I stood up and dusted myself off before walking down the hall towards the back of the school.

"Hey! Where you going? You know you'll have to tell us sooner or later." Kyle was calling after me, but I ignored him, and just kept walking.

Reaching the back doors I walked out and leaned next to one of the Dumpsters pulling a pack of reds out of my pocket. Lighting up the stick I inhaled the nicotine and let myself think. My thoughts revolved around Leo and just what I was going to do about him. _Ever since I jumped him, he's been avoiding me. I come within five feet of him and he flees like a scared rabbit. Maybe I could kidnap him or abduct him….wait isn't that the same thing? Shit, I have no idea. _

I stomped out my cigarette thinking 'fuck it all' and headed home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My apartment was small, white, and barren. The furniture was a curb-side specialty that I had found when I got the place. The small corner kitchen was stocked full of paper plates, plastic silverware, and all the best cookware I could afford. I like to cook; or rather I was good at it.

Walking into my tiny excuse for a home I tossed my bag onto the floor, kicking off my worn out sneakers. Before I could make my way towards the fridge to grab a drink, a knock sounded on my door. Not bothering with the peep hole I opened it to see Stan and Kyle's faces. My annoyance with them must have shown because they broke into identical evil grins. Stan opened his mouth to say something but I slammed the door on him. I didn't get the satisfaction of a slam only the let down of Kyle yelping in pain as he put his foot in front of the door.

"Go away!" I yelled at them pushing against the door.

"Damn it you fucking poor piece of trash! You're crushing my foot! Let us in! We want to know what the hell happened!" he screamed back at me. Both Stan and Kyle were now leaning into the door and I cursed my non interest in sports compared to theirs. _Damn jocks and their muscles!_

They were slowly opening the door wider and wider now so I gave up.

"Kenny-" Stan was cut off as I abruptly moved away from the door and had the joy of seeing them both fall flat on their faces. Smirking, I folded my arms as I watched them attempt to regain some form of dignity.

Kyle stood casting a glare in my general direction before helping Stan up. Standing straight so that their shoulders were touching they presented a untied front with arms crossed and eyes glaring; waiting.

Not letting them see my slight intimidation, I turned away and went to get the drink they had stopped me from getting, hearing the door shut softly, I sighed heavily. _Shit, that means they're going to stay._ Grabbing them a Cola too I turned back to see that they had made themselves comfortable on my second hand couch. Scowling I tossed, well more like threw, them their Colas and sighed once more as they put their sport reflexes to good use by catching the sodas before they cracked their skulls.

"Nice catch. Too bad you didn't miss and it didn't hit you right in the face." Sitting down on what little space there was left on the couch I propped my feet up on the cheap coffee table. Popping the tab on the can I opened it and took a huge swallow before leaning my head back, closing my eyes. Silence filled the tiny space and I felt Stan and Kyle's eyes burning holes in my skin. "If you're not going to drink the sodas then put them back in the fridge. Those don't grow on trees you know."

I felt rather than heard them both stand up and place their pops on the table. Then they stopped. Cracking open an eye I saw that they were both now towering over me, serious faces intact. Suspicion crept into my mind as I saw the glint in their eyes. Eyes open fully now I asked, "What?"

Not answering me they both pounced. Stan held down my arms and Kyle went for my legs. They had me pinned down to the couch and my shirt pulled up revealing my fading bruise before I could even struggle. Kyle let out a whistle as he saw the green blob covering my stomach and grinned in my face. "Well, at least when you two get together we know who will be the bitch."

"What?!" Looking back at Stan and then to Kyle I glared intently. "He caught me by-"

"Yeah, right, do you honestly think that's gonna fly with us? I mean look, this is proof. You're the bitch in the relationship." Stan was staring down into my eyes as he said this.

"What the hell kinda fucked up logic is that?!" Stan let go of my hands then and Kyle my feet. Jumping up off the couch I walked to the other side of the coffee table and glared at the two boys who were sitting back down. "I was caught off guard. That's all there is to it. I jumped on his back and he threw me down. When he started walking away, I-" cutting myself off as I finally realized what they were doing, I smacked myself on the forehead at my own stupidity.

"And?"

"Yeah, dude, what happened?" Kyle leaned forward slightly asking this.

"Oh, ho, ho you guys are good, but not that good."

"Damn, and here I thought we had finally gotten him to talk." Stan let out a sigh as he stood up walking over to me. I watched him warily as he placed his hands on my shoulders looking into my eyes. "Dude, listen. You are one of our best friends. You have helped us out countless times. The advice you have given us has always been the best and now we want to help you out too. So tell us what the fuck happened or were going to go and talk to Leo." He was staring at my face intensely, making me squirm a little.

Avoiding eye contact I mumbled, "Don't get all sensitive dude."

A low growl was emitted from Stan's throat and his hands tightened on my shoulders. Steering me over to the couch he sat me down next to Kyle and then sat on the other side of me. "Now talk, or we're going to-"

I waved what he was about to say. "Yeah, yeah I know already. You're going to kick my ass."

Tilting his head to the side, he told me, "Well, no, we're going to rip off your toenails and pull out your hairs one by one so that you'll eventually get fed up with it and tell us what happened."

I was a bit surprised as his comment and told him so. "Wow, that's new."

Kyle was smiling in a devilish way as he said, "Didn't you say that you wanted some new deaths and tortures instead of the same old, same old?"

"Well, yeah."

"You're going to get it unless you start talking."

Relaxing into the couch I seriously considered my options. Placing my hands in front of me I moved them as if weighing something invisible. "Talk or new torture; talk or new torture. Hmmm, this is a hard decision," I mumbled to myself.

"Kenny." Both boys said my name at the same time and I found it more than a little creepy.

"Stop it. You guys just don't know how creepy it is when you do that twin thing. Which in itself is weird since you aren't twins, but maybe you were twins in another life, or-"

"Kenny!" Both shouted now wearing faces of frustration.

Grinning crookedly I said, "Fine." Reaching for my forgotten soda I drained the can and crushed it. Tossing it to the table, I told Stan and Kyle what had happened with Leo. Before I had finished my story I had grabbed one of the two boys' pops and drained half of it. Staring at the lone full Cola can on the table I waited for some form of advice to come my way. I ended up with nothing but silence as Kyle and Stan seemed to be having trouble thinking.

Sighing deeply I walked to the small kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge looking for something to make for my dinner. I heard unintelligible whispers coming from the couch but I ignored them. Pulling some bologna from the drawer I set it on the counter along with the mayo and some cheese. Hunting in my barren cabinets for bread I cursed in frustration at finding only hot dog buns. _I really need to get to the store… Eh, oh well bread is bread I guess._ Preparing my makeshift bread for the bologna I heard Kyle and Stan get up and come into the kitchen area making it seem smaller than it already was.

I glanced over at them for a second, cocking an eyebrow before resuming my sandwich making process. "So? Come up with anything that might help me?"

"Kenny, is there a method to your madness?" Stan asked this making me stop to turn and look at him in confusion. "Well, honestly, who would go and attack someone that they haven't talked to in over three years?"

"I do."

"So there isn't really any method at all? Just sorta go with the flow?"

My sandwich forgotten I leaned my hip against the counter crossing my arms. "No, there generally isn't. And Der! As long as you've know me you'd think by now you'd realize I'm a go with the flow kinda guy."

Kyle exchanged a glance with Stan before walking over to grab a piece of bologna and began eating it. Grabbing a second piece he handed it to Stan who did the same thing he did.

I was growing impatient with them and laid my hand on the counter, where I stared a steady rhythm with my fingers. Both still didn't say anything so I gave up and went back to making the sandwich only to realize that those two douches had ate the last of my bologna. _Damn bastards. _Cursing them under my breath I put everything away and was stuck eating a cheese, and mayo sandwich. Hoping up onto the countertop I munched away, waiting.

Finishing his bologna Stan sucked his fingers loudly before wiping them on his shirt and saying, "Since you have no method, we'll just have to get you one."

Furrowing my brows in confusion, I swallowed before saying, "What?"

"You know a plan of attack. You have to wiggle your way under his skin and make it so that he gets so attached to you he can't live without you." Kyle was making big motions with his hands as he said this and his eyes had a glow to them.

"A plan of attack?" I mumbled through a mouth full of cheesy mayo bread.

"Yep, we'll call it 'Operation: Get Leo to notice Kenny'. How's that sound?" Kyle looked over to Stan who was shaking his head no.

"Leo already notices Kenny. How about 'Operation: Turn Butters Gay'?"

"No, no, he's already gay just in denial."

I almost groaned out loud as they continued their debate on titles for a plan that may or may not be successful. It was going to be a long night.

**__________________________________________________________________________**

**A/N: And? And? What do you think? I'd like to know. Please! Did you know that reviews equal more updates? I know isn't that amazing?!**


	4. Ch3 What the hell did you do with

**A/N: Yes whar har! Chapter 3! It is now up! *does the funky chicken* Ok so yes i know that this needs beta-ing but i'm too lazy to get that done so i apologize in advance. Thank you all for reviewing my story! *squeals* I feel very loved. Ok anyhow moving on to the next chapter....read!!**

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean _Leo_ Slash**

**Chapter 3:**

"**What the hell did you do with three whores and a rubber chicken?"**

Spending the better part of the night listening to your two best friends argue over what would be a good title for a plan of attack that they hadn't even come up with was enough to wear anyone out. As I walked into my first period class arms load down with the homework I hadn't completed, I ran into someone. That someone was Wendy Testaburger. My books had toppled over and were now scattered around the two of us. I looked at them in confusion. Then I looked at Wendy who was already bending down to collect my stuff.

Seeing my stillness Wendy stood up concern shadowing her face. "Kenny? Are you ok?"

Hearing my name I gave myself a shake. "What? Oh, yeah I'm fine, just a-" I yawned. "- little tired. I didn't sleep very well."

She reached out placing a gentle hand on my forehead. "Are you sure? Your head feels a little warm."

Knocking her hand away I bent down and started arranging my books so that I could pick them up. "Yeah, just a little tired, that's all, I swear."

"Hey, poor fuck, move out of the way. Some of us actually need to get to class." Cartman was now filling up the doorway, blocking any and all wanting to enter or leave. A scowl was plastered on his face as he stared at me and Wendy.

Flipping him off, I ignored the fatass as I bent down to collect my books. Cartman maybe a fatass but he wasn't stupid. _I'd beat his ass six different ways with a stick if I felt like it and he knows that._ As Cartman ranted about needing to get to his seat and what a poor unlucky bastard I was, Wendy came to my defense. _Psh, right, she just wanted a reason to yell at Cartman. _Before the fight could grow into a full blow war, I grabbed Wendy's hand and pulled her to our seats in the front row. Cartman waddled past us on his way to the back row, flipping us off in the process.

I stared at him blankly before clearing off all of my other books except for my math. Pre-calculus was a bitch. I tried to concentrate on my work but Wendy was still rather upset over her run in with Cartman. _Don't do it Kenny. Just ignore her. _Even as I thought this I found myself saying, "Wendy, don't let that fat fuck bother you because that's all he is. A fat fuck."

"Aye! I'm not fat God damn it!" came Cartman's yell.

Looking over my shoulder at him, I said, "Yes, you are now shut the hell up."

He mumbled something or other but I had turned back to Wendy who now had a small evil grin on her face and her eyes were calculating. _Okay, psycho bitch has a plan._ "So just ignore him, okay? He's not worth it."

Looking at me with that evil grin she said angrily, "Oh, hell yes he's worth, especially, after he tried to get my parents to send me to that mil-" She was cut off as the loud screeching bell said class was about to begin.

"Hey, what-" Mr. Styx came in just then shouting at us to shut the hell up.

_Fuck. What was she going to say? Had Cartman been trying to send Wendy to camp like he did with Butters? Then that means he really was the reason my life was so fucked up. Ha, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!_ The better part of my first period English class was spent in deep thought about how I could find proof that Cartman really was responsible and the other part was spent doing my Pre-cal. God, Pre-cal was a bitch.

"Kenny McCormick!" Mr. Styx was yelling my name. Jerking my eyes away from all the numbers and equations I saw his angry expression and cursed.

"Yes, Mr. Styx?" I answered, mentally crossing my fingers, hoping that all he wanted was for me to answer some of the review questions on _Of Mice and Men_.

"Do you need a fucking hearing aid? I've told you countless times to put up that stupid math away and pay attention." He had stalked over to my desk and was now glaring down at me in hatred.

"No, I-"

"Don't you back talk me mister!"

"But, I-"

"That does it. I've had it up to here was your back talking." He raised his hand as he said this. Turning back to his desk he grabbed a detention slip. "Gather your things, I'm sending you to detention."

"What?! But I-" he cut me off again asking if I wanted an after school instead. I shut up at hearing this. I had to work after school doing construction today in Middle Park. My books stacked high I walked to his desk and grabbed the cursed paper from his hands. His fingers caressed mine as he handed it over, and his eyes took on a glazed look before going back to their original angry blue. _Okay, teacher has now officially creeped me out._

Trudging down the hallway towards the main office I wondered why the fuck Mr. Styx hated me. Coming up with nothing I entered the office handing the lady my paper. She gave me a look as if to say, ha so you finally show your true colors, and then told me to go into the detention hall. The hall was more of a box with six desks lined up and only just enough room to move your elbows. As I walked in sighing I saw that I wasn't the only one in there. Leo was here too.

He looked up as I walked in and furrowed his brows seeing that it was me. "What are _you_ doing here pervert?"

"Well, I thought I'd take a vacation. I heard it's nice here this time of year."

He didn't find my comment all that funny. "What are you really here for?"

"Nothing, Mr. Stix just hates me."

Tilting his head to the side he asked confused, "Really? He's really nice to my class."

I rolled my eyes taking the seat next to him. "Well aren't we just a lucky duck."

He eyed me then saying, "Do you have to sit there?"

"No." I answered him before taking out my stupid Pre-cal again and started working. He stared at me as if waiting for something. "What?"

"Are you going to move?"

Concentrating on the math, I asked absentmindedly, "Why should I?"

"Well, I mean…" He trailed off trying to find a good reason.

Saying nothing I continued to do my homework and finally finished. Glancing over I noticed that he was drawing an epic battle scene between dragons and knights in a sketch pad. Leaning over to get a better view of the picture he saw me and slammed the pad shut. Straitening back up I looked into his glaring eyes and smiled. "So you never said why you were sent down here." Propping my elbow against the desk I leaned on it.

"Well, you see it involves three whores and a rubber chicken."

"Oh, yeah, I hate those situations. They always end in trouble." I nodded slightly in all seriousness.

"Dude." he gave me a 'what the fuck' look. "I was joking."

"Oh." Clearing my throat, and relaxing into the hard seat, I tried to sound convincing. "Yeah, right, s-so was I." Avoiding eye contact I hoped he wouldn't question me about it.

"What the hell did you do with three whores and rubber chicken?" _Well, shit._

Taking a quick look at his face I saw that he was genuinely interested. "I blame everything on George, or maybe it was Loretta, then again Sam was there too. But Tracey was one who brought all that liquor….." I trailed off attempting to figure out whose fault it had been.

"Ummm, never mind, maybe I _don't_ want to know." Looking over to him I saw that he had his hands placed out in front of him in an attempt to fend off hearing what I was about to say.

Putting a cheeky smile on my face I leaned a little closer and lowered my voice. "Come on, you really don't want to know?"

My softened voice was harder for him to hear so he had to lean in closer to me. "Well, I mean…"

Lowering my voice even further I said, "You really, really don't want to know?"

He was now almost face to face with me. Nodding his head that yes he did want to know, I felt my smile grow huge. The metal bar on the side of the desk was digging into my ribs and Leo was almost falling off his seat. Crooking my finger to have him move even closer to me, I acted like I was going to whisper this big secret into his ear.

Then I bit him lightly.

Squeaking in surprise, he jumped away falling out of his chair in the processes. His hand was over his ear and his face my turning bright red. His eyes had an angry glint to them but all I did was smile down at him sweetly. "Dude! What the-"

Placing a finger over my lips I told him, "Shush. You don't want to have the secretary come in here now do you? Then we'd get in even more trouble."

Glaring at me in silent outrage he looked between me and the door, waiting to see of anyone would come in. No one came so he stood up and placed his hands on my desk glaring down at me. "What the hell are you doing?!" he whispered furiously.

"Hmmm." Saying nothing else I reclined back just staring at him.

"So what are you doing? Can you not answer a single question?" His fingers were clawing at the desk and I was surprised that I didn't see claw marks.

Cocking my brow slightly I told him, "If you don't know what I was just doing by now then maybe we should have a little chat. Or better yet a one-on-one study session where I can show you more thoroughly what it was."

His already red face became even redder. "That's not what I meant stupid. Oh, hamburgers, why-" he stopped himself then. _Interesting, I can't remember the last time I heard him say that._

The bell rang then and he gathered his things, exciting the detention hall. As he walked out the door I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Running my hands through my hair in relief, I gathered my things. _At least he didn't punch me this time._

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_

"Why can't we call it 'Operation: Kenny gets Leo'?"

"Because, well actually that's-"

"What the hell are you two douches doing in my house?" Slamming the door shut, I stared dumbstruck at Stan and Kyle sitting on my couch, plastic bags littering the ground at their feet. Their school bags were thrown on the kitchen table, various items scattered about, and a spiral bound notebook was clutched in Stan's hand. Both looked up at me and smiled.

"Kenny, we're staying the night so that we can work on 'Operation: Kenny gets Leo.' Oh, and we brought some food for supper, since you don't seem to have much in your fridge."

"How the hell are you two supposed to stay here? There's barely enough room for me!" Throwing my bag on the floor next to their stuff I glared at the two love birds.

"Well," Stan began, "I thought that Kyle and I could take the bed and you can have the couch."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! I'm not letting you two in _my_ bed!"

"Why not?" Stan was confused at my comment and looked from me to Kyle. I smacked my head at his naivety or rather his forgetful memory.

"Do I need to remind you about what happened at Cartman's party in the closet? Where-"

He cut me off his face going beet red. "No, no, never mind."

Looking over at Kyle I saw that he had a grin as he seemed to remember the time when we had found the two of them in Cartman's hallway closet.

Sighing in defeat I asked, "What did you buy?" Bending down to look in the bags I saw bologna, ramen noodles, three different bags of chips, a bag of variety candy, and a twelve pack of Cola. "This is it?"

"Well, yeah." Stan was looking a little worried now. "It was Kyle's idea."

"What am I suppose to make with this?"

"Sandwich?" Kyle suggested oh-so-helpfully.

"Whatever." Grabbing the bags I took them to the kitchen and put everything away. Coming back I started picking up the various items that they had spread around the apartment. Finishing I looked at the two of them, they were deep in conversation discussing possible plan ideas now that they had finally come up with a name for said plan. Leaning on the back of the couch I saw random ideas being listed and some being scratched out.

The grime and sweat from my job was starting to make me feel disgusting. Telling the two that I was going to take a shower they said nothing in response just kept talking. _Well, fuck, there goes another night to my two best friends and their stupid ideas._

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: And? And? Please review!**


	5. Ch4 Who the hell came up with the idea

**A/N: Ok...So I'm a complete and total dirt bag...not updating for a year and then I realized that the end that I had for this chapter would get me more haters than I already have...so I went ahead and posted chapter 5 with it...so you should all tell me how epically I fail...if anyone is still ready this...**

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean _Leo_ Slash**

**Chapter 4:**

"**Who the hell came up with the idea that being locked in a closet counts as a date?"**

Groaning and soft moans assaulted my ears as I lay in my bed. Glancing at the clock I saw that it read 6:27. _Fuck._ Turning over in my twin sized bed I attempted to muffle the sounds out with my pillow. It didn't work. Pushing hard against my ears I started singing in my head, but nothing seemed to work. Growling I jumped out of bed, walked the three feet to my door and was about to yank it open but then thought maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Pounding my fist against the wood I screamed their names, "Kyle! Stan! You better not be doing that on my couch!"

There was a short silence where I heard the springs squeak in my couch and nearly groaned out loud. "We're-ahhh- not. Oh!" Kyle yelled back to me.

"Yes you are! Don't lie to me, you sons of bitches!" I pounded on the door to add emphasis to my words. "At least do it in the shower so I don't have to clean up after you guys!" Silence hung in the air. Pressing my ear against the door I heard their panting breaths and then the sound of my bathroom door being shut. That was followed shortly by the sound of water running and more moaning and groaning. _At least now it's muffled by the water, stupid fuckers. _

I was wide awake now and there was no point in trying to go back to bed. Making the bed and getting dressed, I listened for the sound of the water to shut off. Hearing the water continuing to splash, I sighed hoping that they would come out soon so that my water bill wasn't outrageous. Making my way into the corner kitchen, I made me a toasted PB&J. Munching on the sandwich I waited, and waited, and waited for Stan and Kyle to get out. Glancing at the clock on the stove I saw that it was 7:34. _Well, shit._ Not bothering with the two rabbits in the shower I grabbed my bag and ran out the door.

Lunch was fan-fucking-tastic with Stan and Kyle in lunch detention for being an hour late to school. Not to mention Cartman was M.I.A. at the moment. No one had seen him since yesterday and I wondered vaguely if Wendy had something to do with that. Sitting by myself at our usual table I wondered where I could get some food. I usually stole off of everyone else's plates but since no one was here, well, I was shit out of luck.

I caught Leo walking out the cafeteria doors towards the concrete picnic tables outside. He was sitting by himself and seemed a little lonely. _Hmmmm, maybe he'll share his food._ With nothing to carry, I walked out the doors and sat across from him. He glanced up and instantly went cold towards me. He made to grab his tray and leave but I stopped him when I said, "Sorry."

He watched me warily now. Seeing my sincerity he nodded. "What exactly are you sorry about?"

"For making you uncomfortable."

"That's it?" he was asking through a mouthful of hamburger.

"Well, what else is there?" My brows furrowed as I eyed his French fries.

"Oh, I don't know. How about for jumping me, cornering me, biting me, just to name a few." His sarcasm was so thick a knife could cut it.

I grinned at what I had done. He didn't seem to find it as amusing as I did because he was scowling at me now. "Ok. So _perhaps_ I shouldn't have done those things but I just couldn't resist. You're too damn cute not to tease."

"I am not cute." He was pouting now. _Oh maybe Butters is still in there somewhere. Ah, Butters._

"Oh, yes you are. You're as cute as you are gay." _Oops and it was going so well._

His eyes flashed lighting. "I. Am. Not. Gay."

_Well since the good mood is already ruined._ "Yes, you are."

"What makes you think that? Huh?" His food was now forgotten as he folded his arms and glared at me hostilely.

"Do you want a list?" Reaching over I nabbed his fries.

"You have a list?" he looked at me as if I was stupid for having a list. "Why do you have a list?"

Swallowing a few fries I said, "In case you asked me one day."

He was intrigued now, you could tell because he had leaned against the table and was looking at me intensely. "So? What's on this list?"

Finishing off the fries I wiped my hands on my ragged pants. "You love Hello Kitty."

He jerked back at this. "No I don't!" he was whispering at me. Looking around he seemed to be making sure no one was listening.

"Really? Then what is this?" Pulling out a pencil I had bought on the way to school, I waved it in front of his face.

He swallowed and seemed transfixed by the Hello Kitty pencil complete with a dangly charm. "T-t-that's not mine. Nope, not mine."

"Are you sure? I saw you drop it this morning walking down the hallway."

His gazed moved away from the pencil and met mine as his brows furrowed. "It's not mine."

"Hmmm, well that's too bad. Guess I'll have to just throw it away." Turning a little so that I could aim for the trashcan I felt his arm stop me and take the pencil. Looking at him there was a pink tinge to his cheeks.

"You can't j-just go and throw away a perfectly good pencil."

A grin spilt my face as I said, "Just admit it. You love Hello Kitty."

Sighing in defeat he whispered, "Yes. So what else is on this list?"

"You dressed as a girl."

"Hey! That was one time!" He was on his feet now and had shouted his response causing people to look at us in confusion. Sitting down quickly a blush stained his cheeks. "That doesn't count, or matter," he said but this time softer.

"Right, right," My sarcasm coloring my voice, "lets just ignore all the cross dressers and transvestites out there and you're totally right."

"Just because I was _forced_ to dress as a girl that _one_ time does _not_ mean that I'm gay."

I looked at him saying nothing to his comment.

Leaning away he asked warily. "What?"

"One time?"

"_Yes!_"

Giving a little nod I let it go. "Okay, moving on. You went on a date with Cartman."

"I did _what?"_ his voice became shrill and he once more stood up. Slamming his hands down on the table he glared t me viscously. "I nev-"

"Can you honestly say it didn't happen?"

"Well, no but-"

"The-"

"But-"

"Yea-"

"No-"

"Stop!" He gave me a look of stubborn frustration at my command. "You can't deny that it happened. So just get used to it."

"But that was _one_ time! _One!"_ Heaving a sigh he rested his head against the concrete table mumbling, "So, is that it or is there more?"

Eyeing his still figure I contemplated whether or not to say my next reason._ He could take this one of two ways. No, scratch that he's gonna take this _one_ way but _react_ one of two ways. And both won't be good for me. Well, shit._

Lifting his head he looked at me impatience evident in his expression. "So? Don't tell me that's it."

"Well…no, not exactly." Mumbling my reply I avoided eye contact. "Another reason is well, _was_ your attitude."

He was looking at me fully, eyes narrowing a bit. "Excuse me?"

"Well…you know…you were a Melvin and everyone knew it." There was a tick beginning in his jaw so I rushed on hoping not to get punched again. "But you're not now! No! But, ya know, back then, you were always happy and cheery, and being all…gay-ish."

Tense silence met my reasoning. The annoying chatter of everyone around me assaulted my ears as I waited for him to say something, anything. Glancing over to him, he caught my stare; my dark blues meeting his light sky blues. The bell shattered our silence and he broke the eye contact, sighing.

Grabbing his tray and his bag he stood up and I quickly followed him. Dumping his tray in an outside trash can I latched onto his arm and watch the last few students trickle out before saying anything. "So? Do you have anything to say? Don't just leave me hanging here."

He eyeballed me curiously as if searching for something. "I guess I can see where you're coming from but let's get one thing straight here," Those sky blue eyes of his were turning dark now, "I am _not gay_! We got that?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure about that? I mean 100% abso-fucking-lutely, no doubts what so ever, sure?"

His eyes lost some of their anger and he seemed to give serious thought to this. His face suddenly burned bright red and he jerked his arm out of my grasp. "Yes, I'm sure, now good-bye." He turned and walked off, only to come back and punch me in the shoulder.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"That was for detention yesterday." That said, he stormed off throwing his bag on to his shoulder.

_Well, la de da, he didn't have to hit so god damn hard._ Rubbing my arm I followed shortly after him heading towards the opposite end of the building.

Gym was a bitch. I love sports, nothing wrong with them, I just hate the idea of having to listen to some overweight man yell at you that you're not doing your push ups right when they themselves probably couldn't even do one to begin with.

"McCormick! Straighten those arms! Remember, 90 degree angles!" After yelling in my face Mr. Tetinstein stormed off to yell at some other poor soul.

"Yeah, McCormick! Let me see those arms! Come on!" Kyle mocked him giving me a grin as he continued doing his own push ups.

Chuckling, I finished my set and stood to follow a few other boys who had finished early and were now dashing up and down the gym. Kyle caught up to me and was huffing but seemed to think that he could run faster than me. _Psh, like a diabetic could outrun a poor boy, well former poor boy. _We raced up and down seeing who was faster and had no evident winner as we finished the set and stood doubled over gasping for breath.

"We- came up- with an- idea to help- you and Leo." Finally managing to get it out he grinned with pride.

"Really?"Grabbing a drink from my water bottle I saw everyone else heading outside and followed them. Kyle tagged along nodding his head. "So what is it?"

"A date."

"Wait." I stopped them giving him my best 'Are you fucking retarded?' look. "How you plan on doing that?"

Motioning me to catch up to him I did so and he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "It's a secret."

I threw my hands up and was about to yell at him when Mr. Tetinstein started speaking, saying something about tennis. _Oh joy! Why don't I just shove that racket up your ass?_ Apparently Mr. Tetinstein couldn't read minds because he didn't answer my question but instead continued to drone on and on about the history and importance of the sport. When he finally stopped, he split us into teams and sent us out onto the courts to hit small yellow balls at each other.

Unfortunately for me the red haired boy wasn't on my team or my opponents' team so I never got the chance to ask him just how in the _hell_ I was suppose to get Leo to go on a date with me. Using the anger I had built up about this whole Leo incident, I stomped my opponents.

After a vigorous game everyone headed towards the showers. Since we had gym last period and it was a Friday, everyone was in a rush to get a quick shower and leave. I was the last to get out of the showers since the water was free and I didn't have to work that night. Generally, if I had work I wouldn't even bother with a shower, just apply some deodorant and I was good to go.

Towel around my waist and another in my hand drying my hair I was enjoying the feeling of being clean. I didn't see the hands that pushed but as I walked past the closet door I was shoved in and the door was slammed shut. Losing both my towels I heard the lock click and the school bell ring saying it was time to go home. _Shit!_ My fists hammered into the door as I tried to get someone's attention. Rattling the door knob I cursed and berated it for not opening. I knew Mr. Tetinstein wouldn't be coming around anytime soon. It was a Friday and he always left right when the students did. There was no telling when or even if a janitor would be coming. _Fuck! I'm stuck in the locker room's storage closet and I'm naked. Naked! God damn it all!_

A moan came from behind me and I turned to see Leo's prone figure lying on the ground. He was rolling his head from side to side and reaching a hand up to grab it. A light bulb suddenly went off in my head. "God damn it all! Who the hell came up with the idea that being locked in a closet counts as a date?" I was pissed now. My fists were clenched and I punched a wall to help vent some of my fury. "I'm going to kick their asses the minute I get out of here! Not only that I'm gonna-"

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

Jerking around at Leo's voice I stopped my ranting. He was sitting up but his eyes were a little glazed and he looked confused. He was staring at me now. In fact he was staring _really_ hard. Glancing down I remembered that I was naked. Reaching out I grabbed my towel and wrapped it back around my waist. "So, ummm," I cleared my throat I began to feel nervous for no apparent reason, "We're locked in here."

"What?" he was standing now, if a bit unsteadily.

"We're locked in here. Everyone's left and I don't know when anyone is going to come."

Hearing this seemed to clear whatever fog was left in his brain because his face turned to stone then. He walked over to the door and I moved out of the way. Backing up I watched as he pounded and berated the door as I had done minutes ago.

When he was done, he turned back to me, a glare in his eyes. Pointing an accusatory finger at me he shouted, "You! This is your fault!"

_Oh shit this doesn't look too good._


	6. Ch5 How 'easy' do you think we should

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean _Leo_ Slash**

**Chapter 5:**

"**How 'easy' do you think we should take it?"**

I seem to be stuck in a storage closet, naked with nothing but a towel to cover me. Oh, and lets not forget the man I love who is currently yelling at me because he thinks that it's my fault that we're locked in here to begin with.

"I blame you!" Leo's eyes were flashing with accusation as he pointed at me. "What the hell were you planning? Huh? Were you gonna rape me? Try and get me to turn gay or something?"

Hearing the 'r' word I snapped. "No matter how much of a whore I may be, I would never, _ever_ rape anyone!" My voice was thunderous as it resounded off the small space's walls. Advancing on him, I caused him to back up until he hit the door. Slamming my hands on either side of his head I looked deep in his eyes seeing his fear. My voice was whisper soft as I explained, "This was not my fault. _Kyle and Stan_ locked us in here. I don't know what they did to you or how they got you in here but I'm sorry that they did it. Got that?" He nodded his head and I pushed away from him. "Good, now let's see if we can find a way out of here." Turning away from him, I searched the dimly lit room for something that may be of use. Faint sunlight caught my eyes and I saw a small window on the back wall. "Let's try that window." Going to it we stared at the rusted metal where a handle had once been.

"Well do you think we could pry it open?" He looked at me questionably, placing his hands on his hips.

Glancing at him, I stared back at the tiny window and wondered if we could get through. "Well, it's small; do you think we'll fit even if we do manage to pry it open?"

"Ummm, yes?" he sounded unsure.

"Well I guess we could try, if nothing else." I sighed and began rummaging around the dusty area, hoping to find a crow bar. After minutes of fruitless searching Leo broke the silence.

"Ummm, Kenny?"

"What?"Glancing up from the area I was searching I saw him peering over a box, confusion shadowing his face.

"Can you come here?" He looked at me then a little nervously.

"Sure." Stumbling out of the mess I had made I moved over to him peering down where he was looking. He leaned in whispering as if we had discovered some big secret. "What is it?"

I was completely and totally shocked. There was a rubber chicken with a condom stuck over its head, three different kinds of lubricant, fuzzy polka dotted handcuffs, and what shocked me the most was the picture of Mr. Styx sleeping and the half burned candles that surrounded it. "How, how about we-we just, ummm, let's-let's- don't ask. We probably _don't _want to know."

"Right, right." Nodding his head repeatedly he turned around and let out a happy sound. "Hey we can use these golf clubs!"

"Good idea." He smiled at me proudly and I reached out ruffling his hair. Apparently he didn't like that because he jerked his head back giving me a funny look. Turning away again he bounded towards the window and hoping up onto a crate, began trying to pry open the window. Grunting and straining against the years of rust he seemed to be unsteady. Coming behind him I placed my hands on his slim hips hoping to keep him steady. I had the opposite effect because he then squeaked and fell back into my arms, conking me on the head with the golf club just before dropping it. "Hey you okay?"

"What- let me go!" Letting him go he righted himself and glared at me.

'What?"

"Don't you what me! You know what." He jerked his shirt back into place avoiding eye contact.

"Ummm, yes I do? I just felt like asking you what to make sure you knew what." Rolling my eyes I ignored his odd behavior and jumped up onto the table. As I jumped my towel slide down a little bit but everything was still covered. _Hmmm wonder what he'd do if I just stood naked. Probably punch me again._ Examining the rusted window I say that nothing would be able to get it to open except maybe some WD-40. _Well, shit._

Turning and jumping to tell Leo we'd have to wait for a janitor I came face to face with his open mouth and half mast eyes. _Hmmm, maybe I could…nah better not._ Snapping a finger in his face he came back to reality. I smirked at his red face. "Next time you do that I may just kiss you to get your attention."

"Dude, sick!" he whipped his lips at the thought of my kiss.

"Psh, that's what you think now." Walking back over to the door I sat down in front of it, noticing how quickly the room had darkened. "Man, it sure gets dark quick this time of year. Shouldn't it be staying light out longer? I mean it is February."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It sure gets dark quick." Leo's voice was shaky as he spoke.

With the little light left I saw that he was wrapping his arms around himself and starting to look frantic. He looked over in my direction and started moving my way when it went pitch black. "K-Kenny?" Before I could answer he shrieked and was suddenly in my lap, his face lying on my lower belly, centimeters away from my dick. His arms went around me squeezing tight. Leaning forward I cuddled him smoothing his hair.

"You're still scared of the dark?"

"N-No I'm not! I just tripped that's all!"

Grinning to myself at his lie I was about to answer when his head found my fading bruise. "Oh, owww move your head." Pushing his head away from the bruise I felt instantly better if a little sore.

I felt his finger poke at my bruise and I swatted his hand away with a growl. "What happened?" His voice was filled with curiosity.

"You. You're what happened you little devil."

He pushed himself up and I felt his eyes on me. "I did that?"

Nodding my head even though it was too dark to see anything I answered back, "Yep, Monday when I jumped you."

"Wait. Are you serious?" I could almost see his brows furrow.

"No, a bus ran- wait actually that has happened. Err- yeah you did it." I almost hit myself at my lame attempt at sarcasm.

"Oh." That was all he said before removing himself completely from me and coming to sit next to me. There was a silence between us. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but it wasn't friendly either it was just…silence. Closing my eyes and leaning back I waited and waited hoping to hear someone come into the locker room so that I could get out. _God damn those fucking bastards! I'm gonna rip their balls off and shove them down their fucking throats! Why the fuck did they lock us in a closet? Then again, maybe I could use this._ Contemplating possible ideas of how I could get Leo to talk I rejected them all. I was about to just say fuck it and take a nap when he said, "Sorry."

"What?"

"Well, I mean, sorry. For, yeah know, punching you."

"Which time?"

He moved and seemed to be straightening up as he said, "Ummm, all of them?"

"Do you not know?" I turned my body so that I could better face him.

"Well, no. I mean, I know you're not a bad guy, just a whore. Wait, that wasn't nice, but it is true. Not that there is anything wrong with whores, well except for those that have all those STDs. You don't have an STD do you? No, I'm sure you don't. Wait, I got off track, but you really don't seem like a bad guy. Even if you are gay, wait no you like girls so you must be bi? Yep. Nothing wrong with that. The thing is that I'm not though, ya know? Then when you kept on saying stuff like 'you're gay' and 'I love you' well it made me uncomfortable. Then you got me saying 'hamburgers' again which I do not like at all. It makes me sound so…weak. Ya know? And it's just, well, I mean, sorry, ok?" he was short of breath when he finished. I couldn't seem to get my mouth to work. Here was the one I love explaining, well more like attempting to explain everything to me and I couldn't even answer him. "Kenny?"

I gave myself a mental slap and forced a reply. "Wow."

"That's it?" he sounded angry and a little confused.

"No, it's just wow. I wasn't expecting that. Where'd it come from?"

"I'm not really sure. It just sorta came ya know? Hey! Hey do you hear that?" Jumping up from our sitting positions he knocked me sideways and began banging on the door. "Hey! Hey! We're locked in here! Let us out!" Standing, I joined Leo in beating up the door. After minutes of nothing we both gave up sliding back down to sit.

We were silent again, then he whispered, "I know I heard something! I know I did!"

"Don't worry about it." I put my hand on his shoulder thinking it might comfort him. "Maybe it was-"

"Go to hell, Kenny." Pushing off my hand he moved away, to where I couldn't tell in the dark.

"Ummm, well, I don't really feel like going, to be honest." I rambled, trying to focus on something besides all the naughty voices suddenly speaking in my head. "I was just there last Thursday and Damien was throwing a hissy fit. Something about how Pip doesn't need an education and how he would teach him everything he needed to know. Kinda stupid if ya ask me."

He didn't answer, just sat there in total silence. I continued rambling on for about another ten minutes before finally slipping into a peaceful sleep.

My stomach was clawing at my insides demanding food. _Food, food, food. Wonder what's in the-._ My thoughts were cut off as I came awake fully. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I sat up slowly. "Leo?" My voice was slurred from sleep. Yawning and giving a stretch I searched the darkness for the blond boy. "Leo?" My hand hit something warm. Feeling my way I realized it was a leg, moving my hand up carefully so as not to touch any certain areas, I came to his face.

Tracing my fingers over his features gently I felt my own soften. Lying down on my stomach I stared where Leo's face was, and imagined it.

I'm not sure how long I laid there but I eventually fell back asleep. I woke up again, this time to the sounds of heavy breathing near me. Once more rubbing away the sleep I heard Leo mumble something. He was groaning and moving around; it sounded like he was having a nightmare.

I reached out to wake him up when Leo said, "Kenny! Ahhh-" Stunned I stopped moving. In fact, I stopped breathing. My mind couldn't function. "K-Kenny, no, wah- ahhh!"

_He's dreaming. But he's dreaming about me. That's good right?_

Faint sunlight streamed in through the small window, shining right on my face. Groaning at the bright ball of fire, I rolled away to escape it only to come face to face with a door. Groaning louder I turned back to the sun, clutching my head.

"Kenny, you're not dying, so shut the hell up."

Opening my eyes I searched for Leo. Finding him standing below the small window I sat up. My mouth had that funny morning taste to it, and my body was sore as hell after sleeping on concrete all night.

"Cover up." Coming over to the door he sat away from me, not so much as twitching at my naked state.

I stood up grabbing the towel and stretched out my stiffness. "So," looking over I saw Leo relaxed against the door. "Ya know what time it is?" Rejoining him I made sure to keep my distance.

"Yeah, let me just check my invisible watch!" Rolling his eyes and huffing, he stood up again and began pacing.

"Ok. You're not a morning person. Noted."

"I am too a morning person," he growled at me.

"Whoo, there kitty."

"Stop calling me kitty!" he stopped his pacing and glared down at me.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like it!"

"Oh."

"Yes, so stop!" he resumed his pacing and didn't say anything more.

That was the only conversation we had. After that it was just tense silence and our own footsteps that filled the air.

It must have been well past noon when I heard them.

"Do you think he'll be mad?"

"Kyle, we locked them in a closet."

"Shhh! Maybe they're asleep and he won't ever know it was us."

Leo had heard them to and we were both glaring at the door; waiting for it to open. The lock clicked and the door knob turned. Slowly the door itself opened to reveal a nervous Stan and Kyle. Seeing us, Stan took a step back behind Kyle, whose eyes had bugged out. Giving a nervous laugh he raised his hand. "Ummm, hi, Leo, Kenny."

"Well, Kyle, I'm not asleep."

"Y-Yeah, I can see that."

I took a step forward and Leo moved with me.

"Do you know why?" Leo's voice was murderous as mine.

"W-Well, it got a little, uh, chilly last night."

"Chilly?" I had taken two more steps, Leo still beside me and we were nearly on top of the devious couple.

"You thought it was chilly last night?" Leo was shaking with rage.

Bumping my shoulder I said, "They won't have to worry about that longer, will they?"

Leo quickly caught on saying with an evil grin, "Oh no, they won't. Seeing as they'll be spending the next few years in hell!"

"Now, guys, let's take it easy." Stan's voice was high pitched and shaky. Stan and Kyle were almost backed against the lockers.

"Easy?" Laughing without joy, Leo looked at me. "How 'easy' do you think we should take it?"

I didn't say anything just stared at the two. Moving towards them I saw Leo stay behind me. "If I see you two fuckers anytime soon, I will beat the holy shit out of you. Not only that but I may get a little mean and do something horrible. I do know _oh so many_ torture techniques." Leaving them to cower a bit, I grabbed my bag, still sitting on the benches where it had been left the day before.

"Kenny?"

Looking over to Leo he had his fist clenched and his eyes were raging. "Hey, go ahead man; I sure as hell ain't stopping you."

He smiled then as bright as the sun, "Thanks, Kenny!" he advanced on Stan and Kyle and I turned away.

Walking out with my towel still intact, I got to hear the sweet sound of Kyle and Stan begging Leo to calm down; followed shortly by the sound of a fist hitting a face. Needless to say, I left the school with a grin on my face.

**A/N: Alright so hopefully the next chapter won't take me a year to write...maybe if I get some angry reviews telling me to write it won't...just a thought...=)**


	7. Ch6 How does everybody keep getting into

**_A/N: OK...So...here it is...in all it's crappy glory. *sigh* I'm really dissatisfied with this chapter. It seems forced and not...right. I'm not sure. Well, I think that has something to do with my on-going battle with writer's block. I hope none of you catch it. Horrible disease. Bleh. Anyhoo, please, PLEASE tell me what you think! I really need to know! Oh! And if you have any and I mean ANY story/plot ideas, let me know, maybe hearing what you guys think should happen will help me to write...well. Here it is! *ta-da*_**

**Escaping the Truth**

**A Kenny and Butters- err I mean _Leo_ Slash**

**Chapter 6:**

"**How does everyone keep getting into my apartment?"**

After leaving the school I made it approximately three feet from the building before I was mowed over by a man on a motorcycle. That in itself wasn't so bad but the whole getting my head slammed into the sidewalk was what sucked. I woke up in Hell's Pass to the annoying beep of my heart monitor.

As I opened my eyes a pretty nurse came into the room carrying a clip board. She smiled at me just before she shut the door and climbed into bed with me. "Whoo, whoo, what- owww- what are you doing?"

Her blond hair hung loosely from her ponytail and she smiled slyly as her hand slipped under my gown, slowly stroking my skin. I tried to push her hands away but she was persistent and it felt so good. "Come on Kenny. Don't be like that." She finally let me go with a whimper. Leaning over me she began undoing her white blouse, exposing her braless breast to me. The beeping of the heart monitor increased and would have driven me nuts if I'd actually heard it. Reaching out I almost grabbed them when I heard someone scream my name.

"Kenny! Oh god, you can't die."

Jerking away from my pleasant dream I saw Leo leaning over me, frantic. My head was pounding and his screaming wasn't helping. Taking my hand I put it over his mouth to muffle the noise. Leo only slapped my hand away and hugged me, crushing my already bruised body, "Oh, aw, ok, let go!"

"No! I won't! Wait! You're not dead?" pushing me away he stood up and glared down at me unshed tears in his eyes. "What the hell you faker?"

"Yes, Butters. I faked my own death so that I could get your attention." I put my head in my hands hoping to slow the pounding pulse but not even three seconds later I began to feel that my life was in danger. _Heh, like that isn't true on a daily basis._ Looking up anyway I found that Leo was standing rigid with fist clenched, tears streaming down his face and a glare in his eyes directed right at me. Leaning away a little I questioned, "What?"

Shaking his head he said nothing only crouching down so that he was eye level, which worried me even more and made me edge farther away. Staring at me he said nothing, nothing at all. I'm not really sure how much time past, but eventually he stood up, clear-eyed and no longer angry. Crossing his arms he rubbed his arms saying, "It's cold," and walked off down the street home bound.

I was tempted, oh so tempted, to give chase but decided against it. Forcing my bruised body to stand I headed home still wrapped in a gym towel. Snow was thick all around but it didn't bother me, well not much. When my apartment building came into view I sighed in relief. Jogging the rest of the way I entered the building and almost collapsed at the warmth.

Trudging up the stairs I dug for my keys, and as I came to my door stuck them in. Swinging the door open I walked in, threw my bag on the table, waved hi to Damien and went to my bedroom. _Wait, waved hi to Damien?_ Back tracking I saw the Prince of Darkness himself, drinking my coke with his feet propped on my table looking as if he ruled the world. _He will rule the world, or was it destroy the world, maybe it's both? Eh, oh well._

"This is great, just freaking great! First the two lover boys who feel the need to contaminate my house with their-" I paused and about barfed at the thought of my two best friends going at it. Swallowing it I continued, "-and now you!" I pointed a finger at the red eyed boy.

"Hey, watch it or I might send you to hell." He said sitting up.

"Whatever, I don't really care! I've been there; I have a t-shirt, the photo, the sticker, the memorable keychain, a coffee mug, and all the other useless junk!"

"Dude, calm down, I'm suppose to be the crazy one."

Ignoring his comment I wondered out loud, "How does everyone keep getting into my apartment?"

Coughing a little to get my attention I looked over at the red-eyed boy dressed in all black. "Ummm, hello? Anti-Christ here, all consuming powers, will one day destroy the world. It'd be pretty easy to break into a run down apartment."

"So it is destroy…."

"What?"

"Never mind; sit, I'm going to get clothes on." He sat back down, while I went into my room and dressed. Coming back into the living room I saw Damien with his head in his hands and his shoulders sagging. "Damien?"

He jerked up as if I had scared him, then I saw something that shocked me; there were _tears_ in his eyes. _Tears!_ Placing my hand on his shoulder I asked softly, "What happened?"

Glaring at my hand, he scowled, "What are you talking about?"

Removing my hand, I felt awkward saying, "You're crying."

He scowled harder, "No, I'm-" Shock registered on his face as he felt the tears with his hands. Looking at his hand he said, "I _am_ crying." There was a silence then, a long silence as Damien stared at his hand, tears steaming down his face.

Clearing my throat, I repeated myself, "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, stupid! Nothing except that Pip left me!" Dropping his head once more into his hands I heard him sniffle.

"Wait, you were dating? I mean, I knew you were good friends, well, you were after he forgave you for that whole throwing him into a fiery pit thing…" My voice trailed off as I tried to wrap my mind around the whole dating concept; when it suddenly hit me. "He left you?" My eyes opened wide and I semi-collapsed on the couch next Damien. He nodded his head without looking up and I just sat there surprised. "Wait, are you _sure_ that he left you? As in never coming back and I don't ever want to see you again?"

Looking up at me with burning red eyes he yelled, "What other kind of leaving could there be?"

"Ok, but what did he say when he left?"

Standing up in aggravation the Prince of Darkness began pacing, swinging his arms furiously. "He didn't say anything! I woke up one morning and he was gone!" Tears were falling down his cheeks again and Damien did nothing to stop them.

"Hold on, he was _living _with you?"

Stopping Damien gave me an irritated glare. "Where else did you think he's been living since the fourth grade?"

My eyes almost popped out of my head when I heard this. "_The fourth grade?"_

Damien scowled now. "Have you turned into a parrot since the last time I saw you? Cause I think that would be something you tell your best friend."

"Wait, I'm your best friend now?"

"Oh, shut up! I have plenty of friends?"

I raised my eyebrow slightly at this. "Really? Do you really? Name three."

He hesitated before saying rather triumphantly, "Pip!"

I waited but he didn't say anything else. "Ummm, that's not three. And I don't think he counts anymore since he left you." I barely finished my sentence before a fire ball came hurtling towards my head. I ducked, but not before it singed a few of my hairs. "Hey! Are you trying to kill me?"

"No, just wanted to cause you pain, I can't kill you because you'd just come back here in about two days. And besides that I live in hell so I'd have to put up with your whiny ass."

"Ah, Damien if I didn't know better I'd think you actually liked me."

"Well, it's a good thing that you know better," he muttered before he sunk back into his depression mood, that I had seen just minutes ago.

_Well, this is awkward._ Silence hung between us as we sat there, me staring at the ceiling and Damien examining the carpet. I waited for him to talk about Pip again, but he didn't say anything. _Alright, that's it I want him out of my house, now!_ Rubbing my forehead, I felt a headache coming on. "Damien," I paused trying to gather my thoughts. "Why don't you tell me exactly, and I mean _exactly,_ what happened to make Pip leave." _God, I sound like one of my therapist right now._

Damien jerked his head up and gave me a glare. I glared right back at him, "Hey don't give me that glare, I've got my own freaking depression to deal with, so, the sooner we fix your little problem the sooner I can go and wallow in my own."

"What's your problem, Kenny?"

"Hey," Standing up I pointed my finger in his face saying, "Don't change the subject, we're talking about your problems not mine."

"Yes and mine can't be fixed but maybe yours can be."

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Damn it all Damien. Your problems can be fixed! It's _mine_ that can't be."

"Nope. Mine are worst."

"Wrong! _Mine _are the worst."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Kenny."

"What?"

"Are we really arguing over this?"

I paused. "Yes we are. Now, would you _please_ tell _exactly_ what happened between you and Pip?"

He sighed, sinking into the cushions, nearly sinking to the floor. "I don't know. Everything was fine and Pip was complaining about never getting to see his home country and made some crazy declaration about actually doing it, I don't know. I wake up the next morning and he's gone. No note, no nothing."

I stare in disbelief at the black haired boy. My head was pounding something fierce, rubbing it I asked Damien in a whisper soft voice, "Damien? Did you ever think to look in England? Hmmm?" I got a blank look. "Of course not! Because who in their right mind would actually do what they said they were going to do! He's in England you dimwit!"

"Oh!" His eyes widened and he stood up, suddenly a lot more cheery…or as cheery as the son of Satan can get. "That makes so much sense!"

"And it only took a poor high school student to figure it out for you!"

"Really, Kenny, there's no need to me mean about this. Well, I'll see you in Hell!" And then he was gone. _Good riddance! I'm going to bed and I'm not waking up until the world ends…even then I think I'll sleep through it!_

_***cringes* So? How was it?**  
_


End file.
